make it go away. make it go away.
help me. someone pull me the hell out of this hole. it hurts to even make the effort to keep myself erect sometimes. I feel awful.
I mean I just wanted there to be some sign. That I was in pain.
I just wanted some sign that could be seen with the eyes. I just wanted to be able to point to something and say this is how it is inside of me. this is what my heart looks like and feels like, like I've been cut open. I don't want to do it again. I can't do it again. The danger is I just don't know what else to do. What are you supposed to do when you're depressed? I can't sit around and question if I'm crazy. even though I do question that.
my mom wants me to get off and clean my room. I just want to throw myself down on the floor and cry. How can I clean my room? How can I smile and laugh with my friends who want me to come out tonight? How can I do anything? How can I even breathe with all of this stress on top of me?
I just grab my rubber bands and snap, snap, snap.
I need help. I know. I don't want to cut again.
I'm just in so much pain.
