So last night I went to a superbowl party, right? Well there was this kid there. His name is Paul. And when he first came to the youth group I'm in, which is where the party was, I wasn't attracted to him at all. In fact, I'm friends with his sister. But last night he looked better than usual, and had even gotten a haircut, which looked really nice. He was embarrassed of the haircut... in fact...
It's very possible that we playfully wrestled and I tried to get his hat off, while he tried to keep it on. We were like all over each other, and ugh... I just got so mad because well, even though it felt like I liked him, I know I really don't.
I have this thing. It's called iwanttobeinlovesomuchsyndrome. IDK, I just want to experience teenage love so much. Bahhh. But the only person I like is Nick Jonas, who I don't even know. The thing is, I just want to like someone so much that I convince myself that I do like someone, but really, I don't. It's kind of sad. I just don't have anybody here to feel that way about, and I really want one. I don't know, but we were all over each other, flirting like crazy, it was... weird. I felt so angry at myself because it wasn't real and why can't it just be real? Why can't I experience a crush for real, not including my celebrity crush on Nick Jonas? Ugh. Well, this is a short school week, so that makes things a bit better. I'll hang out with my friends and stuff. And on Thursday I'll see Paul again... gahh!!!!!
This always happens to me. Now it's time to go to drama club and chase after Conrad Birdie in the play Bye Bye Birdie. Although he doesn't really mind the chasing, because he chases me back, along with every other girl in the play. And in the drama club there is this boy who's like in love with me... what the heck. I'm so confused. With life and boys and love and everything. :(
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