It's the waiting that will kill you, really. The wondering, the pacing back and forth (which actually does happen at really desperate times), and the checking of the emails, the tap tap tapping of your fingers on a desk while you try to keep composure.
The boredom does it, too. The standstill. The rush hurts, also. Maybe stabs more sharp, but the boredom... it just hits deep. It may not be so sharp, but it's deeper. It crowds around you and drives you insane.
Plans are changing, people are leaving...
Is it so wrong that I long just to be in his arms again? That I want the warmth, want them wrapped around me, only the last time, there wasn't really warmth. I wonder if there is now. How things have improved. Ahh, the situation has not. Oh no, it's escalated to a full-on tragedy. But himself, could he possibly be getting better? Or is he getting worse? Or is it still? Is he rock hard for life?
Is he trying to make himself inpenetrable? Impossible to smash open and let everything come flooding out?
I started out trying to save him. I wanted him to save me too...
The rest of my life is like a novel, with twists and turns, so I guess I figured, why can't I fall in love, too? Why can't we help each other?
Even when you expect craziness, it still doesn't turn out how you expect in this life.
Crazy, really.
I just want somebody to hug me.
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