My Thought Process.

Let's take a look at what goes through my head for a minute. I'm just going to type what I think.

The people around the room don't know anything about my life and if they did would it matter, would they care, am I ever going to find a guy that loves me, or am I unloveable, I hope he knows he isn't unloveable, my goodness I love him, why am I so stupid, I'm an idiot for ever trying to help, this is ridiculous, my friends don't understand, I love Jasmine, I don't want to think about God, I'm tired of people throwing God in my face and expecting me to be fine with my circumstances, they expect me to just deal with the pain and not lash out, I want to break things, I want to crush things, I was supposed to not write about him for a week and I forgot and so I did start writing, why did I forget, why am I so stupid, this is terrible, I helped someone and this is what I get, nobody can see my pain either, they can't even see my pain they just hear of it and don't really believe it hurts that much but it hurts like hell and I don't know what to do about it and this is what I think and nobody gets it and everybody is all in their own little lives and I just want a break from mine, I just want to lay in bed for a whole week, I just want to go somewhere where people care, I just want to go somewhere where people can help me, what am I nuts, I don't want to go to the psych ward, he went there and got his necklace there, oh shit I forgot it, I have to give it back to Jasmine and I forgot it, I wanted it out, but did I really, if i had it I wouldn't want to give it away, but I don't have it and I do, I'm so caught in between wanting to stay and go. stay away from me, come back, omg erin make up your mind, I'm going absolutely crazy inside of my head.

I can barely function at school.
I hate this so much.