I just yelled at my teacher, flat out yelled, and told her that she had made a mistake and that I didn't do anything wrong and that she was crazy. Yes, I called my math teacher crazy. I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me.
I almost want to say screw staying away from it but I know that's not good. My friends don't get anything, ANYTHING, and a few of them have NO idea that there's anything wrong with me! Lizzy, one of my nicest friends ever who I've been friends with since 7th grade, has NO idea that I'm even depressed. Kaitlyn, who I hang out with a lot and joke with probably doesn't notice that anything is different than how it's always been.
I don't want to go to classes, I don't want to do anything, I just want to sit here and stay here and cry but then again, crying isn't something I can do that often anymore, it usually comes in random spurts now spaced throughout the month. Or sometimes I'll have weeks where I randomly break down and cry with no warning.
It sounds so freaking sick but if wearing the pain on my skin doesn't really even make my friends who know think twice or freak out, then what do I have to do to get anyone to actually start realizing that I'm not making all of this up? That I'm not doing this just to get attention, I'm doing it to get HELP?
How loud does someone have to scream until people start to hear even a faint whisper?
And just coming out and saying you need help does nothing. People don't react to words as much as they do to actions and signs and events.
Ugh.
I can't take it anymore.
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